I am Not the Same
It's here. Season 10 in professional baseball.
Spring Training has officially started.
The unknowns can be both thrilling and terrifying. Will we have a job? Will he continue to live his dream? Where will we be living for the next 7 months when spring training is over?
So. Many. Unknowns.
This year we are with a new team for the first time ever. It is a refreshing start and a time to reflect on how far we have come.
When we started this journey, I was a teenager. I went through life looking at the world through the lens of comparison, the thief of joy.
Along the way, I learned that comparison was not worth it. It only harbored feelings deep inside that were not reflective of who I was or who I wanted to be.
Although much has changed in our 10 seasons. As every new year starts, one thing remains. A familiar funk finds its way back to me time and time again. It's a time of transition, where change can be difficult.
There are moments, I cry when Casey is gone because I miss him so much. The stress of parenting alone, can be overwhelming. As the months pass I may even question who I am outside of being a "baseball wife". It can all feel like a heavy weight to carry. It's a sacrifice I continue to make to watch my husband and partner pursue his dreams.
Our life may look different than yours, or maybe you are in this life. No matter the circumstance I can ensure you this. You and I will be presented with emotions that are uniquely our own.
Me now, as apposed to teenage me, does not want to compare. I see no need to!
I want to believe that we are all entitled to feel certain ways without having to justify "why" we feel the way we do. At the end of the day, we all just want to be understood. Don't we?
Maybe that includes wanting to wallow in the "yuck" for a minute before receiving the inevitable "it could be worse" phrase. Or Perhaps it is smiling uncontrollably for days because you can't describe the joy you're feeling, or how you got so blessed.
I want to stand with those who's hardships are greater than mine and celebrate those who's may be minimal.
We should all be able to feel the way we do without comparing our circumstances to each others and what they "could be".
Here is to you season 10.
Here is to embracing every single bit of it without comparison.
I'm not the same girl, I use to be.